should i stay, or should i go?
no one ever taught us how to deal with this feeling. this feeling of insecurity. this feeling of being so unsure. they say, our histories always comes back to haunt us. well, i think.. other peoples histories haunts us more.
like the feeling of being afraid with someone because your unsure of whether the same thing might happen again. or like the trust that was once there can never ever be because you dont know how to bring yourself to forgive and to forget. i know, you might say we all have to let go of the grude someday, but what if that something was almost too impossible to forgive? like what if someone cheated on you? and you feel so disgusted and so betrayed and that everytime when you have that slightest thought of forgiveness you rethink and tell yourself, no i shouldnt, no, i shouldnt have to be in that situation again, cause if i step into quicksand again i might never be able to pick myself out. im sure you know very well, once bitten twice shy.
it might be unfair to everyone else out there, it might be unfair because they dont get any second chances, but honestly, im sick of second chances. im tired of people who think they deserve a second chance all the time. once is already too much to handle dont you think? nobody wants something thats broken. nobody wants a broken heart twice in a lifetime. shit happens, yeah. but if you could prevent that something from happening, would you?
i wanted to see, something thats different, something you said would change in me. wanted to be anything different, everything you would change in me.
yours truly
